Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I'm drive I can fine osifer
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
