You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
