I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Randomize
