I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
