sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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