how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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