found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
