I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
my shit smells like andre
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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