her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
