I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
he thought i was a dude.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
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