Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
