drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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