If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
