shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
