I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
soo... how was my night?
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