If that was your dad, he is hot
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
