NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
