I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
