google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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