you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
