I wish I could teleport
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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