i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
