my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i just google imaged poop.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
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