Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
