Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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