no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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