bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
