good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
