I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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