yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Randomize
