Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Randomize