I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I have feelings that need drinking.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
