i just wanna soil my oats bro
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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