But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
