i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
