32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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