don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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