Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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