doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
