She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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