so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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