he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
