What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
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