I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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