Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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