$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
