no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
