I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
