You just made me feel so damn special
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
