Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
