so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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