i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
