Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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