Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize