Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
