smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
