The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
