Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize