i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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