remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
