woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
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