**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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