are you still at the devil's house?
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Randomize