Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
