we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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