i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I came so hard my ears popped.
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