May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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