Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Randomize