a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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